Baba Picks Up

Posted by Darshan on Dec 29, 2009 in DC Fake News | 1 comment

Mississauga, ON – Jagdesh Singh, 64, is a retired newspaper delivery man who likes hanging out at the local area malls with his other retired buddies. The usual spot is Square One, in Mississauga, where they’ll take a bus in the morning and meet up just outside the bus station. Together, their posse heads into the mall checking out the scene and finally finding a bench, in a high traffic area, to chill out on.

They’ll shoot the shit about their retired lives, wives, grand kids, great grand kids, and in Lakhan Singh’s case they talk about his sister’s kids because in his 62 years of life he never found a woman to marry him. Once all the small talk is aside they get to the good stuff and start commenting on the female species scattered around the mall. The following statements have been translated from Punjabi to English.
“Oh yeah, we talk and sit and then we see these sexy girls all the time everywhere. Wearing short little skirts and revealing tops. Hai. Showing so much skin. It’s quite the workout for my frail old heart. Sometimes we like to compliment the ladies as they’re walking by. My usual compliment is, Hey Baby! Sexy Girl. We been doing this for about 5 years and I think about 100% of the time the girl’s have no response. I don’t think they appreciate our kind words to them. They usually walk by with a look of disgust which I don’t seem to understand. If it was me in her shoes I would be so happy. Anyhow, yesterday I say my line to this tall supermodel looking Spanish girl and to my surprise she stops, looks back at me and winks. My heart got so excited along with the other thing and I started giggling. I said Hey Baby! Sexy Girl to her again and she smiled even more. She took out a business card and put it in my pajama pocket. My friends were all in shock and cheering me on throughout the whole thing. Then she smiled and her big warm eyes were just sucking me in and I.. was just so excited and said Hey Baby! Sexy Girl for a third time! She laughed and started talking to me. This has never happened before so I didn’t know what to do. I was speechless. We always want the girl but never expect to get the girl you understand? I stood there just smiling to her and saying yes a lot cause my English is not the best. At the end she walked away and kissed my cheek. Man, I was so overwhelmed in joy that I passed out. My friends sat me back up on the bench and I was buzzing and feeling high like I used to back in the day. Now I have this card and her number and it’s been a week and I don’t know what to say. Her name is Viagara Sales. Strange name eh? Then it says, For those who feel they still have it. Ah well, I’ll call her tomorrow.”

Baba Picks Up, 7.2 out of 10 based on 6 ratings