Desi Comedy

The compassionate stars of Bollywood auctioned off treasured personal belongings in efforts to raise funds for the AIDS epidemic across India.

Amitabh Bachchan, star of over 10,000 Bollywood films, raised a record Rs 4,092 for the underwear he wore and sometimes shared with his co-star Dharmendra during the filming of the 1975 Hollywood western rip-off Sholay.

The Rs 4,092 price of the underwear set a record for most expensive piece of used underwear worn by two Bollywood heroes. The previous record was held by Salman Khan and Vivek Oberoi who were both rumoured to have worn Aishwarya Rai’s panties during savage love making. The panties sold for Rs 4,002 to the highest bidder, actor Gulshan Grover.

Rupinder Agrawal, the new owner of the old underwear, is holding a religious ceremony each day for the underwear’s safe arrival to his village.

Other auction items worth mentioning included a pair of knockoff sunglasses that were worn by Sanjay Dutt during a bar fight over a girl who he later realized was a hijra. The glasses sold for Rs 200 to the hijra’s hijra lover.

Aamir Khan’s fake mustache from Rang De Basanti fetched Rs 400. A vial of Shah Rukh Khan’s tears, from every movie he’s been in, sold for Rs 600. The oscillating fan used to simulate the appearance of wind passing through a Bollywood heroine’s hair sold for Rs 1,100. A set of stunt silicone lips used during kissing scenes were sold by a Bollywood special effects team for Rs 60.

Hrithik Roshan’s extra thumb was severed and sold to a leper colony in Calcutta for Rs 200. Surprisingly, a new thumb grew back in place of the old one. It was then sold to a mysterious scientific organization known only as The Dharma Initiative who wished to study the magic and myth associated with having an extra digit.

The actual script, written on toilet paper, of the film Jo Bole So Nihaal sold for less than the value of the toilet paper. Sunny Deol was heart broken when he learned that the script for the movie he starred in lessened the value of something you wipe your ass with.

All in all organizers were thrilled with the results and funds raised for AIDS. The money was spent on an after party at Mumbai’s celebrity hotspot the Olive Bar and Kitchen.